The Awkward Human Survival Guide Retired

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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Hot Octopus

170: Hot Octopus

June 19, 2017 at 11:45PM • 1 hour 27 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about nude drawings, the great poverty debate, and hot octopussy. Questions/comments/stories/whatevers? Call 509-AWKWARD or visit for all your options!

Special guests: Lindsay Bring (IUD Girl/Bring 1) and John Bring (IUD Guy/Bring 2)

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Lindsay's mother comes to her with an urgent "prenomition."

This Week's Questions:

  • Chaylea ([Y]F) asks, "Hello Adam, Erica, Darren, Richard, and anybody else! I am a [YOUNG] girl who has a birthday wish. My name is Chaylea (chay-lee-ah) (CHAYlea) and I have been listening to your podcast for about two months now. It would be awesome if everyone could wish me a happy birthday at the beginning of the podcast. (My birthday is on June 18 by the way, and I don't care if the episode you put this in is after that) Also, I do have an awkward situation. I am an artist, but what I draw tends to weird people out. I draw naked women. Whenever people ask to see my art they always get so surprised and a little bit grossed out to see a sketchbook full of naked women. What do I do to stop them from freaking out over this? Do I warn them first? Or do I just deal with it? Also please stop being so funny, people look at me weird when I randomly laugh in the middle of study hall."
  • Ashton (23/SF) asks, "I just wanted to thank you for elaborating as much as you did!!!! That was a lot to digest, but that was incredibly fascinating, and a much more positive outlook on time itself. I really liked the analogy you gave with touching your toe and nose at the same time on the week prior’s episode, but I hadn’t tried it until last night after I read your email. It’s so mesmerizing. One thing I was completely mind fucked over was where you talked about how our eyes can’t see certain things that we think they can… like what?! Have I just been imaging my life completely inaccurately then?!? What kind of enormous errors do/can our brains make? How? I figured this would be a not so entertaining question for the show but knew you would have a great time elaborating, so again, thank you for doing so! I’ve had plenty of opportunities where I wanted to write in with actual awkward stories or questions, but I couldn’t let myself until I got all the way through! I don’t know why, I guess I’m just kind of odd like that, but hopefully in the future I’ll have some better stuff to send your guys way. I look forward to hearing the episode next week! Hope you guys have a fun weekend!"
  • Mattheyous asks, "So I got the got the Hot Octopus Pulse III Solo. It was great! Got me off in ten minutes, satisfied me for a day. The only issue is the upkeep. For all intents and purposes I live alone (my mother lives with her boyfriend and their newly adopted dog). So drying by the sink after use isn't an issue. But according to r/sextoys (quite a helpful subreddit!) you have to wash toys both after you use them and before. With a newly clean towel. Every time. Too much work! I barely have time to deal with my medical issues, brushing teeth four times a day (the medication eats away at my teeth so I'm supposed to keep them as clean and free from acid as I can), et cetera. I'm probably going to have to return the toy. Luckily I ordered from Love Honey. They have a 365 day long return policy. Even for used toys! Apparently they sanitize them and break down the parts to be recycled into appliances. I read an article about it. I'll have to just try and curb my sex drive somehow. They say to keep busy, right? Maybe I should stop trying to draw r/gonewild posts. Shame. The curves were a nice challenge. Sorry for the long message."
  • Jake (20/SM) asks, "OK I got a question about poor people. How come some poor people stop being poor and others get 'stuck' I guess being poor? Like some people are saying this is because of being lazy and other people say it's not or it's both? So which one or ones is it? There's always arguments about this and I don't know what to say when it happens. Like if I defend poor people they're like 'you don't get it' and just ignore me but if I say the opposite then sometimes people get really angry about it. Could you help me understand this please?"

Special Segment: We're having a Bukkake! Father’s Day Sale for the month of June! We'll be giving away free copies of the game, soon, too.

Final Thoughts: Do you see ghosts? Or is it just yo mama?

Related Links:

  • PennyPrenom: Lindsay's ghost mom.
  • "Welcome, I'm PennyPrenom. I’m thrilled you’re here—because I have so much I want to share with you. I’m here to make a life out of what I love, and what I love is blogging the paranormal. I am passionate, and I truly believe that passion relays my insight back to my readers through the innovative and exciting content that I post. Explore my site, and all that I have to offer; perhaps PennyPrenom will ignite your own passions too."
  • Being Poor Is Too Expensive: "Some think that being poor is simple. You don’t have enough money to buy a lot of stuff, so you’re forced to buy less stuff. But that’s not really how it works. When you’re broke, you can’t do all the little things that will improve your budget over the long run. It actually costs more to be poor."