The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

If you love the show, please help us keep making them! (This does not require a financial contribution.)


Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

← Previous Episode   |   Next Episode →

192: Thanksgiving Part II: Sexy Vertibrumbs

December 10, 2017 at 7:45PM • 60 minutes • Wiki Entry

This week we're continuing last week's agenda, but with a special book reading at the end! Question/comment/story/whatever? Call/text 509-AWKWARD or visit for more options!

NOTE: We have a SUILF winner! We recorded this episode at the same time as 191, so we'll announce the results on episode 193. :)

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Erica's Thanksgiving guests get stoned out of their minds and Sarah shares her edible and Tindr experiences.

This Week's Questions:

  • Vilde (16/PBF) asks, "Hi! Thanks for answering my question, I already listened to it of course:) I followed your advice and said that I didn’t want to continue the friendship but that I wasn’t angry with him and we could of course be in the same group conversation and all that. I thought I did a pretty good job at being kind and honest at the same time. He got pretty angry though.. like he totally freaked and said stuff like “dont think you mean anything to me” and that I was doing a “bitch move” to quote him by bringing this up at all... I don’t know what happened there, but my friend read through my text(the one I sent him explaining how the situation is) and she said I seemed nice and legit so I’m just not gonna bother arguing with him. I’m just gonna trust that there’s a higher power that will judge him for his actions. (Tom Cruze) (aloha) (maybe) (hehe, you’d get this if you had watched the movie Easy A) It actually felt good to tell him how things was. For me it doesn’t feel tense in class at all actually, I just don’t care about him, an amazing feeling actually. Thanks for your compliments on my English. Young people in Norway are in general very good English speakers/writers, so compared to them my English isn’t the best. Norwegians have to learn to speak English well, since no one bothers to lear Norwegian, hehe.... My writing is okay/good, but I have a very strong accent when I talk. (I think listening to your podcast might be helping) Have a great week, I’m having midterms everyday this week so I’m not really gonna have a great week but you should. Okay, enough babbling Can’t wait for the next episode! Byeee"
  • Emma (F) asks, "Long time listener, but first time asking. I think I have heard Adam talk about complaining to various internet companies and getting concessions on supercharged(maybe awkward?). I was hoping you could help me with the best way to do that, both general advice and specific to my situation. I bought something with Amazon prime that was in stock and gave me an estimated delivery date of November 13. When it didn't arrive, I assumed it would be a little late- not a big deal as it was not an urgent need. Then I forgot about it after traveling a bunch and celebrating Thanksgiving. Now looking at my order, it says the estimated delivery date was missed and it has a pending delivery date(which is basically no information). By now it is super late(it is November 27th now), an annoying hassle to look into, and I don't even know if I will get it! How would you approach Amazon customer service to solve the issue? Should I wait for my item or cancel for refund? And also should I outwardly try to get something from them for the poor service, or not mention it and just let them offer something possibly better?"
  • Yvonne (31/SF) asks, "Hello! I’m a new listener—and I love you guys. Ericka (hope I spelled it right) is my spirit animal. Richard is always entraining me with stories of ‘Jimothy’ and made a comment about this podcast and I’ve been listening since; you guys help me get through my work day. Although it is a bit uncomfortable when I forget my earbud and walk away from my desk…suddenly you’ll hear, “…warm cum…”, or something incredibly inappropriate, in a silent office (because I’ll pull my headphones out of the computer hahaha). I’m writing because there is a bit of disagreement amongst my friend and myself and we decided you guys get to be the judge. So…. I’m a 31 divorced, single mom. We have a solid co-parenting dynamic, we just didn’t work out as a couple. We were together for nearly a decade, definitely my longest and most serious relationship. I had my own demons (insecurities) and it didn’t help that my husband was constantly cheating on me. We’ve been apart for almost 3 years now. The first year of our separation was difficult for me. I had just had my daughter, gained 90 lbs during my pregnancy (don’t get me started, just ignore what doctors say and trust your body; within reason of course!) was unemployed (laid off) and had horrible postpartum depression. In that year, due to the depression and everything else, I went from 220lbs to 115lbs. I looked like a cancer patient. When I gained a bit of weight back, I felt confident enough to start dating again. Dated a few guys, nothing with any substance…just rebounds to make me feel better, stroke my ego. But I ended up running into someone from my childhood I hadn’t spoken to since like 5th grade. We became friends and I eventually developed feelings for him. He’s completely opposite of me; I’m an extrovert and he’s an introvert. I pursued him, asked him out and made the first move to kiss him (on my birthday). We’re the same age and I am his first real relationship; he only had one girlfriend prior and it was about 6 months—oh and he claims I’m his first love. I know, I know I saw the red flags but ignored them. We’ve now been together for a year and a half (more or less). The first year was difficult, simply because we were still learning each other, communication and such. So around June I had a mini-break down…it was just too much for me to handle by myself; life. I had called him for support and to vent. I got met with silence. Not helpful at all! Like a week later he come by my house to dump me. Saying I’m “too much” and he couldn’t handle it. I was confused because I had money problems and issue with a steady babysitter; but I didn’t ask him for anything. I just needed him to tell me “it’ll be ok” even if it’s not. I expressed it was all I needed, yet I was still “difficult”. So we broke up. For two weeks, no contact. then he came by my place and said he missed me...the next day it was like the break up never happened. Here we are in November, I've told him continuously that he makes me feel like some to he only picks up when he's horny. we go out and people can't even tell we're a couple. Sundays are our "date days" and i haven't seen him all month. for thanksgiving, my daughter went with her dad (because he has family) and i stayed home alone. do you think he called or even text me? nope. i spent the holiday by myself... and like two weeks prior we made plans, confirmed plans the night before and then he just forgot about me and did he own thing. I brought this us to him recently, along with other instances (like him taking off without a word to santa barbara with a stranger I've never met). All i got back from him was, "i'm sorry you feel that way", "yeah, i guess i do ignore and forget about you" and the best one "i should treat you better" that's it. So I told him last night, i wanted to take a break. I wanted him to think over what i mean to him and what he wants. He was so indifferent about it! I want to know if i'm like retarded in holding onto hope that this will get better. Or if i should just walk away. My friend thinks the time apart will be beneficial and give him time to miss me...but i kind of feel like i'm stringing myself along. My friend thinks that he does love me and does care about me but just isn't ready and doesn't know how to handle being in a relationship...??? if that's true, do i keep going? I don't know if i'm being hopeful or self destructive."

Special Segment: Keeping Promises to Jesus

Final Thoughts: If you want to know what Adam was talking about in Seven Promises of a Promise Keeper before next week, buy the book and read page 137. :)