The Awkward Human Survival Guide Retired

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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194: Origin of the Floater

December 22, 2017 at 7:00PM • 60 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about smelly foot friends, frequent pooping, and bloody buttholes. Got a question/comment/story/whatever? Call/text 509-AWKWARD or visit for more options!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Lindsay (IUD Girl) struggles with the truth at work and Erica has a message for the listeners.

This Week's Questions:

  • Mattheyous asks, "I'm not ranking milk in order of viscosity/watery. Milk is gross. It should only be consumed 1) in a recipe, 2) in a milkshake, 3) with cereal and 4) as a last resort with flavoring of some kind. However, if you recall your elementary chemistry, milk is a colloid, so it would make sense that different kinds would have different levels of watery-ness due to the different particles—and the different concentrations of particles vs amount of water. Regards, Mattheyous"
  • Bradley (22/SM) asks, "sorry for having a gross question but i need some advice okay. like how you can have a bloody nose i have a bloody ass. like blood jus comes out of it. it doesnt hurt but my underwear has blood spots. one i need to know how to talk to my girlfriend about this. we moved in and shes gonna see the laundry. then theres the blood in general. like what can i do to not get blood on my clothes. do i need to wear a pad? lol. btw its hemmorrhoids (NOT FROM PEGGING!) and my doctor says this happens so im healthy dont worry about it. thanks bradley (22 straight)"
  • Max (24/BM) asks, "aloha guys! i have quite a shituation here. i have to go number 2 a lot, like 4 times a day. i know i should change my diet but i really don't want to. but what is even more annoying than to have to poop at a friend's of a friends house is the floatyness of my poo. very often i have too flush more than once and i always have the feeling that poo is just floating there, contaminating the whole toilet with its shittiness. especially if the toilet has a freshener that covers up the surface with bubbles and colour like in my toilet. what should i do? (i urge adam to go on 20 minute sermon about poop science but you really don't have to) is anybody else experiencing floaty poo? are there products designed to make the poo disappear? thank you max"
  • Skinny Allison asks, "Hello Awkward Humans, My name is Skinny Allison and I'm straight cis female. My husband and I are huge fans of the show but havent written in until now. My husband's childhood best friend (we'll call him Scott) is a regular at our house. He is a great guy and is like family to us. He is incredibly outgoing and a well dressed individual. Unfortunately he has recently become incredibly SMELLY. I am currently pregnant and my sense of smell is heightened due to the pregnancy, but it's not just me thats noticed it. My husband complains of it as well, but we havent discussed it openly with Scott or our other friends to know who else has noticed. He smokes cigarettes but it isn't a cig smell, as we are x-smokers and would know. His cologne is nice but just cant compete with whatever this stinch is. I had not noticed this before but I have learned from various sources that Scott has been known to have smelly feet. My husband thinks the horrible smell is now leaking through his shoes. He doesnt always wear the same shoes though and why would this just now become a problem? He has smelt bad the past 2 or 3 months and it only seems to be getting worse. Last night we went to the movie theater and I had to keep my scarf over my face to try and block the odor. Why has his girlfriend or mother not pointed this out to him?! Is up to us? What would you do in this stinky situation? Thanks Awkward Humans!"

Special Segment: It's our first video episode! Watch it on YouTube!

Final Thoughts: Sorry if the sound is a little blown out this week. We are learning the ropes of running audio and video at the same time. It's challenging but we should have the kinks worked out soon.